16 Comments

This is so fascinating! That brush with the forced kidney donation had me anxious, though. 😅

I love your descriptions of the painting, especially compared to the rough, harsh imagery of Jason’s world.

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Yeah.. I once saw a man trying to sell one of his kidneys outside a subway station in downtown Beijing. The police took him away in the end. I thought of him when I read that line..

Totally agree about the contrast between the lyrical world that breaks in from the painting and Rhodes vacation ad, and the world Jason is grappling with!

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Oof! That is definitely a story to tell. It made me think of an episode of a tv show in which one character convinces a man that he took his kidney while the man was unconscious. It was played for comedic effect, once it became clear that nothing had actually been taken, but it was still a bit grotesque.

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Thank you so much for reading 😊 I’m happy you enjoyed it !

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Such a compelling story so far. My mind immediately turns to magic, but I can't wait for more!

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Thank you, friend!

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Starting to understand the alteration I think? Incredible. I have feelings. I want to figure it out but I don't want to guess--gonna let it happen! Great story so far!

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Wow wow wow. Loved this chapter. I really enjoyed the way you subverted expectations about why Jason doesn't "like" art, and the way there are stirrings of Greece beginning to beckon him... Can't wait to see where this goes!

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I’m so glad you enjoyed! :)

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Your prose is beautiful and brutal by turns as always (that little flash of Jason's childhood! ohh.) I had to read this chapter three times. I'm not sure it's all the way through my head yet. I can see Mr. Yong circling around the outside of Jason's life, and although I see he's in the habit of ignoring any potential way out (the cleared debt, the voicemails from grandpa) perhaps things have now changed....? No, with the painting he only seems to be going deeper...hmm. I wonder what's going to happen with Frankie.

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I’m so happy you’re invested in this story!

👀 what will happen to Frankie

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What amazing writing! You've really sucked me in!

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❤️ thank you, sista

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Just like that, Jason's tough exterior begins to crack and flake away, showing just how brittle it really is. I'm curious about the effects of alteration. Is it the experience of genuine emotion? Has that been stolen away? Are these strange things he's seeing in the painting just hallucinations, or is something actually happening there? So many questions just waiting to be answered.

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I’m actually struggling with how much to go into detail! I like keeping things up in the air, but I don’t want to frustrate the reader

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I think you've hit a good balance here. Enough is raised to bring questions about what it is to mind without outright revealing the answers just yet. It leaves me with a feeling of anticipation for what's to come.

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