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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

This is so eloquently done. I liked the first draft, but I love the tightening of the narrative and the flow of this revised version. Excellent job! ☺️

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Joseph L. Wiess's avatar

How deep the treachery

When you throw away your soul

and pray to an old one

instead of holding your friends close

You lose life, love, family, and child.

While death blossoms and runs fae wild.

What magic these foreigners weave

that they can split the ground of places hallowed.

Strong they are when even an arrow

won't stop one from breaking the stone.

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